Living in Utah I deal with friends getting married, engaged, pregnant all the time and being a girl I feel like I'm the only one that isn't. When I know very well that I am not. I have a roommate who isn't dating, or engaged and for sure not pregnant...well maybe not for sure...kidding. But sometimes I feel like it just gets to you. When all your friends are sending you pictures of their dresses, their rings, asking your advice, flaunting their engagement, counting the days. Of course I'm happy for them, I'm happy they're happy and they're getting their fairy tale ending but sometimes I just want an end to it all. I mean once people get engaged I delete them from my news feed so I can't see their ridiculous count down "89 days until I'm married." That is dumb (yes I bet I do it if/when I am engaged, but let me just complain for now.) You're getting married in 89 days, does anyone but you and your fiancée care? probably not... Maybe once it gets down to 5 or maybe even 30 I might care. I'm not saying I hate you if you do that I'm just saying I just don't really read your status or go to your page very often because I don't care to be reminded of my loneliness.
I'm already bitter about my situation and I'm only TWENTY. What happens if I don't get married for a few more years? Will I accept the fact that I'm not supposed to be married yet and that it's EVERYONE else's turn before mine? I don't think I can go through life without a companion. Thinking about people I know who have never been married and they're in the 50's just amazes me how they could live their lives without someone by their side. I could not do that. I really hope that is not one of the trials God wants me to have...
I'm tired of being alone and sitting around doing nothing on the weekend. I can only watch so many things on Netflix. I just want to go on a date and enjoy myself. I've been asked on two dates the whole time I've lived in Utah...TWO. Kinda sucks. Then I see the people that get asked on dates by guys they don't even want to go out with and the ones that get asked by the guys they do want to go out with and the girls that get asked out by every guy and I just feel like sometimes I want it to be my turn. I want to have a reason to actually get ready in the morning (because we all know I do not get ready for work any day of the week) I want to have something to look forward to on the weekend, not just not having to work. It'd just be nice sometime... But if it doesn't happen I guess I'll just learn to be content and live with the way life is.
No comments:
Post a Comment