Tonight as I was brushing my teeth I had a strange realization that comes occasionally. I am me because I want to be me. I am who I want to be, I don't do things for other people. I am no longer doing things because I'd get grounded if I didn't. I brush my teeth because I want to, not because mom told me to before bed. I go to church because I have a testimony of the gospel and want to make it greater, not because if I don't I'll get my driving privileges revoked. I go to school because I want to do something with my life, not because if I don't I won't get money..okay that is a part of the reason for sure but I could survive without it. It was just weird to me to think, I can do anything I want. Do I like what I'm doing now? Is it a good place for me? Am I happy? (Yes I had many of these thoughts as I was brushing my teeth, if you've lived with me you know it's a long process (-:) I do what I do because I want to. I'm not forced to. I know what is right and wrong and I choose which direction I want to go in my life. Sometimes I make mistakes and then I pay for them but thankfully I've had the blessing of not making too many mistakes.
After spending time in my singles ward Lauren posted something about how we always say we're in transition. I'm in transition to marriage, she's in transition to having kids, getting a job. We're always looking at where we want to be not where we are. We need to take deeper consideration of where we are in our lives. I am in an awesome ward. I live with amazing roommates, who make me laugh daily. We are a little family and I couldn't live without them. I am closer with my sister than I have ever been. When I go days without seeing her it's like I'm missing a part of myself. She is the best sister I could have asked for (Carmen, Dahlia and Steph are pretty great too) I have two adorable nephews. I love them so much and they add brightness to my life with every giggle, gargle, and noise they make. I am close to both my parents. We don't have the pressure we had on our relationship when I was in high school. I call them at least once a week and without calling them I feel a little out of it.
One of my favorite shows this week said something on happiness that I found to be quite insightful.
"Happiness is a mood. It's a condition, it's not a destination. It's like being tired or hungry -- it's not permanent, It comes and goes and that's ok. And I think if people thought about it that way, they'd find happiness a lot more often."
We should try to make it a goal to find happiness. Not just in the big things, but even in the little things. Don't wait until you get married to be happy, don't say when I get a promotion I'll be happy, be happy that you have a job. Be happy that you're in a place where you are able to have the many little blessings we're given daily. Don't take them for granted and thank Heavenly Father for giving us the wonderful things we have.