Sunday, June 28, 2009

New Times

Well it's school season again. Well I've been going to school since May but it's time for new classes. New classes and new teachers. Unfortunately I have a slight feeling that these will be a lot harder. Already I have homework. But lets rewind.
Thursday was my first day of new classes.....Math. YUCK! Well It's years since I took math. My last math class was Statistics my Junior year. Yeah so this should be interesting. but at the same time i'm pretty sure I'll do fine... Our class on Wednesday was Geometry. So hopefully it stays nice and easy. I don't remember if I did proofs in Alg2/Trig or Geometry and those were the hardest things ever so I hope I don't have to do those. But oh my gosh let me just say math teachers are WEIRD! My teacher I felt like he had no idea what he was talking about. Yeah he added everything up in his head really fast and that was cool but when we were just talking oh my gosh he drove me CRAZY! We were introducing ourselves and he was like pausing and thinking for like a minute after everyone. It was strange. Very very strange. The whole time I was thinking....if I didn't know you were a math teacher I'd consider you a creeper. But seriously I will not be going to him for math help. He gives me the heebie jeebies.
Friday is a nice day because I get to sleep in till 11 if I want. :-) But I have anthropology that day. My teacher is from England and all over Africa. She specialized in Medical Anthropology. She's cool but she talks really slow and kinda boring. Doesn't really engage the class. After Antro I have Government. Oh my gosh this teacher really drove me insane. He shouted so loud the whole class. I felt like I was going to die. I got a headache. It was bad. an dI feel like I will learn nothing from him because he's not that great of a teacher so far. I know that I'm judging early but ugh not really feeling him.
So that's my school life. Other than that I havne't been up to much. It was just Kennedy's birthday so we went to see 17 Again in the dollar theater. it was SUPER fun. Zac Efron oh baby so attractive.
I also got to see the Proposal. Oh my gosh such a great movie. And there isn't really anything dirty. It's an amazing movie. Like from watching the preview you think "that looks funny" but they don't even show the funniest parts! It's an amazing movie. It's a movie you can take your mother to and not feel bad...Ok Mom don't take Mima she wouldn't like it....this is my favorite part which is probably also the dirtiest part...haha

Now for the randoms:
I'm super excited! Carmen and Dad get here tonight...I think Tea is coming too. But it will be so fun to have Dad around for the week. And Mom gets here Wednesday night I just wish I didn't work so much so we could hang out. Also my friend from elementary school is getting married on Friday! CRAZY. Sadly it's not going to be a temple wedding but I'm excited for her. She's been through a lot and I'm glad she found a guy that loves her. I'm totally jealous....I want to get married. well not really but I do want a man! Cassie's man just went into the MTC so we spray Victoria's Secret Very Sexy for Him around her room. Mmmm baby that stuff smells like heaven.

This is Eliza and her fiance

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Romance Novels Pornography for Women

My sister is a therapist for 2 different BYU clinics. She's pretty amazing and the people she works with are pretty cool too. She wrote an intense blog. I think everyone should read it. This is the link And I'll just post what it says too.
I have a story. This is therapy-related so don't read on if you can't handle some reality.

A female BYU student wanders into the library to browse for a new book to read. She walks in to the Sampler section- you know, that main section with all the new releases and books that are currently really popular- and happens to stumble upon a book that looks interesting. BYU has them on the shelf, in the Sampler section no less, it must be a good book. There are at least 20 others similar to it.

She goes home and starts to read. She's loving her book. She's really falling into it. She finishes it and decides that she needs a book similar to this story. Something romantic, something alluring, something with great descriptions. This book has made her feel great. She goes back and gets another book similar to it and brings it back to her apartment to read. She needs to read alone.

Suddenly, her boyfriend and her friends don't really seem that great. She wants to escape to fantasy. A few months later, this same girl, the one that just wanted a good book to read, is now masturbating. It's so addicting. It feels good. It's a relief from stress. She's starting to feel down on herself. She's not supposed to do these things. She's a good BYU student. She's an active member of the LDS Church. She got the novel from the BYU library. She's confused and lost and doesn't know what to do. She sinks deeper and deeper into depression. How could she ever talk to anybody about what's going on? Nobody will understand. She's distanced from her friends and roommates. She feels lonely. She feels guilty when she goes to church. She doesn't know who to turn to. She's angry. How could this happen to her? How did she get to this place?

Finally, she comes in to talk to a counselor and explains everything that has happened from that day of wandering into the Sampler section looking for a book to read to the deep depression that now gnaws at her soul.

Any reactions? thoughts? feelings?

*This isn't a current/past client or anything and I purposefully made it pretty generic*

A few people have come to therapy at various locations across BYU campus (Counseling and Career Center, Women's Services, Comprehensive Clinic) and LDS Family Services with the scenario mentioned in the last blog.

I didn't even realize that the BYU Library had romance novels in the Sampler section! Some of these girls were brave enough to go and talk to library administration and tell them about their situations and asked for the books to be removed. Counselors have gone to the BYU Library to ask for these books to even just be moved to a place that's not so accessibly. Nobody wants to move them, let alone remove them. They say it's censorship. Ummm, we do go to BYU-right? One of the people asked "So what about having a Playboy magazine section? Most libraries have that. Maybe we should have that too. Or else we're engaging in censorship." Didn't go over very well. The administrators took the requests to their library review board and all on the board (men and women) said the books should be left their in the sampler section. People have gone to the library repeatedly asking for the books to be moved or removed. One administrator finally said he'd slowly remove the books last year. Not a single book has been moved.

There's some kind of standard I guess for the types of materials libraries should have for them to be highly ranked so apparently keeping these books helps the library get good ratings.

Also, the guy that is in charge of ordering these books said they can't be that bad because when he orders them he makes sure their not marked as having "explicit content" (or something like that). Some people have gone through the books and written down excerpts and then turned them into administration. They were totally ridiculous. Lots of heaving and throwing things. The stories are usually about some rough and tough masculine guy that is tamed by a woman through sex. The sex scenes are pretty graphic and violent from what I've heard. Not reality. And pretty sick.

People have written to the vice presidents about the situation (at least 2 of which are female). Quotes from general authorities, research findings etc have all been submitted. One of the female administrators was handed a list of quotes from the book and refused to read on and told people to just go and talk to the library administration. Can't they at least be moved somewhere not so easily accessible?

The other side of this that really bothers me....
I have some friends in my program that are doing their theses on topics such as sexual abuse, assault, rape, sex therapy etc. When they want to do research, they have to walk to the library, go to a specific section and get a librarian to unlock a cupboard that holds all these books and published journal articles. Seriously. They can't even get to the journal articles online. BYU blocks them or tells them to go to the library to get access. These books and articles have things like "1 in 3 girls and 1 in 4 boys will be sexually abused during their lifetime." But, these articles and books are kept under lock and key. Only accessible by permission from a librarian. The research has to be done in the library. The factual research about sex must be hidden from students, but let's leave the romance novels in the front section of the library for all to have easy access to. Are you freaking kidding me?!

We have girls coming into therapy after stumbling upon these romance novels, but the therapists and researchers that want to learn more and study need to go ask for permission to look at published research.

It's a really frustrating situation for me. I think people have done a lot to try and figure out if these books can at least get moved to a different section. What now?

"Often when we hear about the evils of pornography, we think of pornographic magazines, movies, and Web sites. Because men are more visually oriented, such material seems to appeal primarily to them. Yet the sexually explicit literature targeted at women, who are more verbally oriented, can be damaging as well. Like visual pornography, such literature presents a warped view of sexuality and is arousing and addictive. It dulls our spiritual senses, which distances us from God, and it can impair our ability to have healthy, lasting relationships."- Addicted to Romance Novels, Ensign, July 2003

A look at Popular Romance Fiction
, Ensign, February 1987
Let Virtue Garnish Thy Thoughts, LDS Church, 2006

“You can be obedient. You can defeat Satan and overcome temptation. God ‘will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it’ [1 Corinthians 10:13]. The Lord does not expect anything of you that you cannot do.”- Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, May 1994

Monday, June 15, 2009

Wedding Season

Well. Lauren is married. So crazy right? You don't even know. It's so weird, she's my first friend to get married. The next one is younger than me! So weird. But Lauren is off and married to a fine young man named Bryan Ringo. She looked so beautiful and thankfully it's didn't rain while we were taking pictures up in Portland. Sadly pretty much as soon as we got to Bend it started to rain so the reception which was supposed to take place outside took place inside. It was still really fun though. They looked so happy and you could see relief in Gardemama's face. Everything went smoothly even with the rain. While I was waiting for Lauren my friend MaryJane from Provo came to visit. MaryJane is from Portland but she moved to Provo to go to school and work. Now she's back in Portland and I was so excited to get to see her. She's still beautiful too. I'll post some pictures of the wedding.

Channel was kinda fed up with this whole wedding business
My one picture with Lauren

I think I did ballet as a child...look at my feet. I can't help's just how I stand

They got a little fed up with her
Hubby to the rescue

This was really awkward for me to see her touching a boys thigh...

Everyone there for the sealing

The dip kiss

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

A Night of Great Fun

I forgot how enjoyable roommate dates are. But let me tell you...pretty dang fun. I recommend it for all roommates. They're so nice because you can ask anyone, the guy you secretly have a crush on or the guy in your ward that just sparked your interest or just someone you want to get to know better. Since there are currently only 2 roommates living here we invited our neighbors Kim and Rachel. And Lisa and Heather from behind us. Melissa invited a guy in our ward named David Koch (Pronounced Cook, you should see the looks he gets when they announce his name in church... :-) ) and I invited Nathan Quinn a guy that moved in at the beginning of summer then went to Europe for 3 weeks and just barely got back... Yeah so anyway we met at our apartment after institute around 8:30 and we went to ShopKo. We bought sweet paint sets and water color paper....this paper is pretty special. Then we went up to the park by Aunt Karens.... I always forget the name...shoot. So we went there and we painted a scene or each other. After we went to Bishops house and had their family judge our pictures in couples and out of the whole group. Both of mine won couple...just because Hannah must have a soft spot for me. Once the judging was done we went to Hello Yogurt. I forgot how delicious that was. Muy Muy delicioso. We stayed there for about an hour and just talked among couple. It was really nice how easy the conversation went. Now today I get to finish all my homework for my two classes and then pack for my trip! Woohoo!
Me and Nathan showing off our pictures. We did a landscape and a portrait of the other....aparently I'm a "complicated mess" just kidding he didn't say that but that's how I interpret it.

Clearly Donny was done with the date

The wind got pretty bad towards the end.

we are so good at paintinglook how serious we are...but really look at David

Trying to show off my materpieces pretty amazing I know

Melissa and David Melissa has issues holding hers...the one in her left hand is supposed to be the view of the temple but she likes to hold it upside down
Kim Donny Casey Rachel
Heather and her mystery man
Andrew and Lisa. I've decided they win the cutest couple award.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Sad day

Today is just a low day. I don't even know why I mean I got a date for tomorrow and things are good. I don't know why it's so bad... But anyway I was just sitting here doing homework and thinking....I still can't believe Matt is dead. It just doesn't seem real. I don't like it at all.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

So good!

So lately life has just been good. I mean I still have my rough days but overall it's been very good.
I got to go to another party at Justin's mansion. It was really fun pretty much the same people always go but it's still fun. I try to talk to more people and be more social. Sometimes it work. Tonight was a really good night though because I was just relaxing there and we spent time sitting out in the lawn chair...which are more comfortable than most and just looking out at the view of Orem and Utah Lake. It was so nice. Next time I'll bring my camera. I think I said that last time...oops. But I was relaxing and what not then I pretty much had a heart attack. but for a good reason no worries :-) Ask if you want details on that...but yes it does have to do with a boy. Gah it was so funny.
But pretty much life is so good. I think the reason it was hard fall/winter was because I was doing nothing with my life. I mean I don't like school but it's a good thing I'm going to school. I think it makes life more bearable. Yes I am working and going to school and doing homework but overall I feel like my life has more balance. Who knows maybe I'll actually get asked on a date this summer!