Sometimes you just need a little bit of everything?

Have you ever been on a diet and you craved one thing the whole time. Then you get off the diet and you decide to have just a little bit of what you craved. You taste it and realize it's not at all what you wanted. So instead of just moving on you decide you are going to figure out what you were craving and eat everything you can think of that sounds good. But nothing still feels right... Yeah I am in limbo right now. I don't know what I want... and what if I figure it out and I can't have it? What will I do then?

Homemade Tomato Soup

So I am sick right now and all I wanted was some tomato basil soup. Dahlia invited me over for dinner and we decided to make it. I didn't measure anything and just did my usual way of improv soooo here's what it was, roughly

1 can condensed tomato soup (make as instructed 1/2 can water 1/2 can milk)

1 roma tomato

3 cloves garlic (Brendan said it was too garlicy)

1/4 cup onion (roughly)

Basil

Crushed Red Pepper

Combine all in a blender until smooth (or chunky if you like chunks)

Heat on stove

Easy as cake mix.

It was SOUPer yummy (couldn't resist)

Bend

So I forgot this thing load the pictures backwards so I guess I will go backwards in my week!

It was so much fun being home and not dealing with the people in Utah (although I did miss a couple people) But Carmen didn't have school so I wasn't dealing with her crazy early alarm AND I wasn't dealing with Jessie's early alarm/Niagara falls right by my head so I actually slept...for the most part. I was out super late some nights with Jessica which was fun.

I got to Bend Saturday had dinner with my family then spend some time with Jessica.

Sunday went to Church with the Fam. Jacot's and our neighbor came over for a Cuban meal (yummmm) we played some Just Dance it was super fun.

Monday I don't remember much from Monday but I spent the night at Jessica's that night.

Tuesday is also a blur, I'm sure there was some Jessica involved some shopping and some yummy food. OH yes yummy food Village Baker! If you are ever in Bend go there!

Wednesday PreThanksgiving workout. Jessica kicked my butt!! Then we had Thai Trailer with my parents.

Thursday we did some shopping before cooking and after the parade (love it every year) Got some great deals.

Friday More shopping Lunch with Jessica and Carmen Pictures with Jess and Ca. That night I saw a lot of my high school friends that I hadn't even talked to much since Sophomore year...that is a very long time...

Saturday I had lunch with one of my friends from church and it was nice to reconnect with him. Jessica worked all day so it was just a lazy day until she got off and we had some Pizza Mondo!

Sunday Went to church and then I made a SUPER adorable skirt with the help of my mom. I'll post a picture of it next time I make it! But I loved it! So cute!

(funny side note. my best friend was in Wyoming with her hubby for thanksgiving, that morning she texted me and said she was going hunting. my reaction "trying to catch a turkey for dinner?" I am funny I know)

Saturday

This is a picture of Jessica and I Friday night before we went out to the bars. Don't worry I was DD :-) And I am a great DD haha

Friday day we did some black Friday shopping and found Santa. He kept asking Carmen and I what we want for Christmas and we never answered him. Then he told us about how kids used to ask for coal but how it's a bad thing now. He also said he has been Santa for 7 years and hadn't seen us before... (I thought Santa lived forever... so confused)

Mima and Papi are still in love (When they remember each other) they are quite cute and I love them. Papi demanded a picture with Mima.

Dad will always be the man of the house carving the Turkey (OH NO I JUST REALIZED CARMEN AND I NEVER DID THE WISHBONE!!!)

We had a lovely spread

I got Jessica this Pillow pet for her birthday. She loves it. (I'm awesome) This was from our third day together. It was a fun fun time!

Natural Beauty

Today I am thankful for my natural beauty. I got it from my mom (no offense dad) But after living with 17ish different girls and seeing their daily routines I am so happy for my routine. I can wake up 30 minutes before I have to go and I'll look fine (maybe not great) I don't have to wear make up and I can still feel pretty. I don't have to blowdry my hair AND straighten it, or even blowdry it some days. It's just awesome to not have to deal with having to take 2 hours to get ready and have a long daily routine.

So thanks mom for not making me someone that always has to look perfect and wear makeup and have my hair fall just right to feel pretty.

It feels like Fathers Day today

In my Entrepreneurship class this semester we were just assigned to read this article http://steveblank.com/2009/06/18/epitaph-for-an-entrepreneur/ I'll be honest I skimmed it at first but I kept reading and I started crying... Yeah... kinda dumb and emotional right now apparently. But I was reading over his family rules and what he went through and it reminded me of my dad and what he did for our family when I was younger. My dad was the guy I saw on the weekends and talked to on the phone. He was the guy my mom would lock herself in the bathroom to talk to for what felt like hours on end. (Many funny stories about that) I remember greeting him at the stairs when he came home and always wanting to be the first to hug him. He gave up a lot for us kids when we were younger. He wasn't at all our recitals or practices and I know it was hard on him but I'm glad that I have him now. I love my dad he's amazing!

Catch Up

I don't know why I'm not good at keeping up on my blog but oh well just another time for catch up. (also I must be really tired because I just tried to spell catch katch...)

So I moved out of Megan's apartment because she got married. Yay her! So I moved into a house south east of campus and moved out 3 days later because the girls there had alcohol and cats and I didn't want to be around either of those so I moved back in with Megan for a few days (before she was married) and then I found an awesome apartment/townhome/condo south of campus off of 700 east. It's pretty great. It's big and I'm paying less than I've paid anywhere else. There are four girls here and 2 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms. It's called OakPointe. We have 2 living rooms W/D decent kitchen TONS of storage. So I mostly like living here.

I'm back at good ol' LDSBC... This semester is one of the more difficult ones I've had. English, Public Speaking, Entrepreneurship, BoM, and Mission Prep. It's not that the classes are more difficult, it's just that I have homework and I have to do it. I can't just pretend to do the reading or the homework anymore and still get good grades. The best part about school though is that Beth, Rob and Jourdan are there. It's nice having friends at school so I have people to hang out with on my breaks and carpool with, and make fun of people dancing in the commons with. The best change about LDSBC this year is they now have a dance class Tues/Thurs from 130-? (at least 5) They have Latin Dance and HipHop, they used to have Swing but I haven't seen it lately. It's incredibly funny to watch. I am not a great dancer so props to them for having the guts to bust a move in front of half the student body but still... it's very entertaining watching little white girls that grew up doing ballet try to HipHop dance. One day I'll take a video and post it, that's how funny it is.

The most exciting recent news is Kurt is home! Kurt is my friend from Oregon that moved to Lindon and then got his mission call to Oregon. (I'm bad luck for my friends, first Kurt got his Oregon call then Garret got his Provo call...oops) I went to Kurt's homecoming last weekend and it was really cool to hear him speak and see how different he is. I haven't been able to see him much because of school and work but it's exciting to have another friend back. Only 2 more months before Garret is back and 4 until Jeremy is back!

Other than that life is the same, I'm working and going to school then working and going to school then working then having a day to rest then working then going to school blah blah.

Is there anything to talk about other than dating?!

So I live in Provo, the dating mecca. Seriously everyone here is concerned about their dating lives and who is and isn't going on dates. There is more to life than dating! I know that right now we are told we're supposed to be going on dates and fulfilling that part of our lives but seriously? You want me to focus on dating while I'm trying to juggle my work and school schedule... haha that's funny! It seems like all of my conversations with people lately have been on dating. Why can't we talk about something else. I know we don't want to talk about school when we are dealing with it for 11 hours a day. I know I don't want to elaborate on the life of being a receptionist but can we talk about our hobbies. I know people play sports (maybe not me but people do... I'm sure) At dinner group we were talking about dating, then again on the drive home from school today. Two totally different groups the SAME subject. We get it enough from our parents and teachers and church leaders we don't need the pressure from our friends and peers too.

Everyone has their own beliefs on how to play the game or not play it but there is no set way of dating here in Provo. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone dated in the same ways, especially if there was no game? that would be amazing right? I wonder if dating outside of the bubble sucks as bad as it does here. You have to text 15-30 minutes after the date to make sure he knows you enjoyed your date and he knows you're interested and want to go on another. Or for some even if you don't text after the date he's still going to assume you want to go on more dates with him and keep asking.

Honestly I'm so sick of the game. I don't think dating should be viewed as a game. You don't want to find your eternal companion by playing mind tricks with them. What does that mean the rest of your relationship will be like if you are constantly pretending to not be interested in the beginning so he'll call you faster, or if you say you're busy one night but not another so you don't come off too easy. Be upfront with your feelings and opinions. Don't hide who you really are just to play some stupid game.

What now?

Can someone please just tell me what to do with my life?

Current options are:

Go to UVU and study: culinary, psychology, music, ANYTHING

Mission

Move to another school

Move to Salt Lake and continue at LDSBC in a new atmosphere

Find a new job

I am at a loss for life right now. I've been praying studying my PB but I have nothing. I don't know what I want to do or anything. I'm meeting with my bishop soon to talk about the mission option but honestly it scares the crap out of me to be away from Lauren.

Stadium of Fire x2

This past weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to go to Stadium of fire with some of my friends. I really wasn't that excited for it because I'm not crazy obsessed with David Archuleta (anymore) and I really had no idea who Brad Paisley was (but afterwords I realized one of the few country songs I enjoy is a Brad Paisley song...it's called "then")

ANYWAY

So we (Jamie, Kyle and I) went to Jamie's house for a BBQ with her lovely family. It was quite a blast. So funny we laughed more than we ate. Then we drove back to good ol' Provo and walked from Branbury to Stadium of Fire. We took quite some time finding our seats (that's what happens when you have directionally challenged people leading) but we made it there and we enjoyed some David and Brad.

After, we didn't want to deal with traffic so we stayed for the Dance Party. That was where the real fun began. It was exciting. I saw some friends from Raintree and partied with them. Then our night was over and Kyle was brought home. Overall a great day and a wonderful night.

Somewhere, my parent's theme song.

The show started with Katy Perry

A different themed rant

So...I often complain about how being single sucks when you're living in Provo and how EVERYONE else is dating and I'm alone woe is me blah blah blah. But lately I've been okay with being single. It's not that big a deal. Yeah I don't have anyone to cuddle up to and be all lovey with but I'm good. I have friends that I can hang out with and spend time with. We have fun and enjoy life. And I know this is so hypocritical BUT I am so tired of EVERY singles ward Relief Society. They always complain about how being single sucks and how they're so old and they just need to be married already and move on with their lives. Just because you're single doesn't mean you have to stand still and not progress in your life. Finally someone said something today that helped with the "I'm 19 and single" crap. She pointed out that we live in the Provo bubble and that in the world outside of the bubble it's okay to be 21 and single. That's your prime! You should still be single...they feel bad for the people that are 19 and married. I think it's okay to want to be with someone but you don't have to constantly turn every lesson in church to "I'm not married so my life sucks" You're life can be great if you make it great you just have to let it be.

That's all....just a rant.

:-)

Mommy's Magic Fingers

So I work in a pediatric doctors office so I am surrounded by children and mothers allllll day. For some reason the other day I had this memory of playing barbies with Lauren and we had this one Ken doll that was not the best quality and for some reason his head would fall off a lot. We would always bring it to Mom so she could fix it with her magic hands. Just another random thing about how amazing my Mom has always been.

Remember the Loaves and Fishes.

So I was just sitting here thinking about making dinner tonight and how I have no idea what to make and then I started thinking about a dinner in Oregon...

First off let me tell you, my mom has an amazing testimony. She serves everyone and loves everyone and it's just awesome, she's amazing. Soo anyway, one Sunday when we were staying at our Sunriver house we had unexpected guests come around dinner time. Carmen and I were assigned to make dinner that night and it was almost done but we hadn't made quite enough for everyone if we included the 4 people that showed up. I was kinda worried (and hungry) so I was complaining to my mom. what are we going to do? blah blah blah. My mom said "Remember the loaves and fishes." Really mom ya wanna hit me with doctrine right now? Psh whatever. So we finish cooking and invite the 4 extras to join us for dinner. To my surprise we had left overs... Yeah... for the amount of food I made we shouldn't have had left overs (especially if you've seen how my family eats) But I just remembered that and it made me realize I have an amazing mother. And when extra people show up at dinner time, remember the loaves and fishes because you will be blessed in your own way if you help them.

I have been a slacker

So it's been a long time since I've posted a blog... So here's another update...

I am still living with Megan and it's a blast. I do really miss Jamie and Anna but living with Megan is a new experience...and it's been nice. Megan is engaged and so it's fun talking wedding with her.

I am still working full time at UVP and decently loving it haha No I like it I just wish I could spend time time outside of the office during the summer.

My friend Kelsey Eakle from Summit moved to Provo and we hang out all the time. It's really fun. We decided to live together in the fall and we have a cute little house south east of campus that we will be sharing with 3 other girls. We saw it and immediately fell in love. (however we were quite broken down from all the loser houses/condo/apartments we had seen before this one)

I still get headaches. EVERY DAY. Okay not EVERY DAY but it feels like it sometimes. I noticed earlier this week that I hadn't gotten one for a few days but I've had a migraine now for 6 hours making up the lack of headache I had before. I've been seeing the neurologist and they haven't found anything they can say "this is why you get headaches" yet which super sucks...I mostly just feel like they don't know what they're doing and I wish someone somewhere had the answer. I've spent too much money on this already (upwards of $500 AFTER insurance and I'm a poor college kid...) I have had an MRI, 2 sleep studies, like 3 different pills that were supposed to help me and blood work. So far nothing. Well they found that I do have sleep apnea (which everyone says is because I'm overweight, thank you doctor I know I'm fat I'm working on it...) But the apnea wasn't bad enough to need a CPAP machine. But don't worry I got to sleep with one when I did my sleep study. I am just so sick of doctors. My most recent fun with them was "You have high blood pressure" (because you're overweight) So they put me on blood pressure medication. I just said okay and took it because other people in my family have high blood pressure too... So I started taking it Sunday night and Monday I was super lethargic, I had chest pain, I was just too tired to function (but still went to work) so I had one of the nurses check my blood pressure and it was down to 92/64... I was a little worried because if I had really had high blood pressure before this was a rapid decrease and probably not healthy. I called the office and talked to them about it and I had never had really high blood pressure... I talked to one of the doctors at my office and he told me he wouldn't have prescribed me a pill for it he would have just had me exercise and diet (okay I don't know why people think I am just a lazy person that eats TONS of junk because I'm not...) But back to the point... I stopped taking the blood pressure meds because I couldn't deal the side effects. So my doctor FINALLY called me back Wednesday to talk to me about what to do...cut the pills in half blah blah blah so now I'm trying this out and we'll see how it goes from here. Basically, I'm over doctors and I am so so so ready to just have a new brain that doesn't get headaches.

Um nothing else really new or exciting.... I spend my life in an office surranded by screaming kids and when I'm not there I'm at my apartment or with Kelsey or Lauren but I don't do much else...

Kurt comes home in a 2 months, Garret 6, Jeremy 8, Nick... well a lot longer :-) Just starting the count downs. :-)

Yeah... oh the changes.

Update

So I haven't posted for a while mostly because I haven't had much to post about. About 2.5 weeks ago I went home which was really nice to get away from the daily grind but still really hard. I sat in on Mom's sunbeam class while Wendy taught and it was so great. I loved being in primary...although I really don't remember the songs! Oh no! The little children were so smart and they knew all the answers and they were so sweet and kind. Darling little children (don't worry I'm not baby hungry... my job keeps me from ever wanting my own children to deal with) I loved being home and spending time with Jessica Hacker! She really is my best friend and I love her. She's amazing. I wish we lived closer!

I came back to Provo and I moved 4 days later! I now live in Orem. I'm living with a coworker in an apartment her parents own. It's really nice and I like it and the rent is way better than what I was paying at Branbury... and I think the apartment is nicer quality. I really like it and her! She's great. Her name is Megan. She served a mission in Chile and has her masters in Music from BYU. She plays violin. I don't know she's just a great girl and so far we get along great. I do miss Jamie though. We had some fun times... I miss Anna too... and Gabs...but anyway...

New apartment is great. New ward should be good. I'm excited to see how life pans out now.

Hymns Are Truly Inspired.

So we had our musical fireside in our stake a few weeks ago and it was amazing. The spirit that was felt was AWESOME. Ryan Murphy's talk was great and the musical numbers were good too. It was such a blessing that it all worked out especially with the apathy of the people putting it together. (me) But attending it was wonderful.

One of the things mentioned that night was whether or not you've ever teared up during a hymn. Have you ever started singing it then you got choked up from the spirit and singing it just doesn't work out for you anymore and all you can do is think about the words. This happened not only that night when we were singing this WONDERFUL version of the Spirit of God that Garrett has put together with the Orchestra but again yesterday while I was in church. We were singing the Sacrament Hymn "There is a Green Hill Far Away" It's a song we sing quite often and I listen to quite often since it's one of Stephen Nelson's but for some reason yesterday it was perfect for me. There are amazing words in that song. "We may not know, we cannot tell what pains he had to bear. But we believe it was for us he hung and suffered there." We don't know what he went through but it was for us. He felt the pain we feel. He felt the physical, emotional, mental pain we feel. All the times my knee has hurt, he felt that. When I get a headache, he felt that too. The pain I get when I sin, he felt that. He felt it for all of us. There's not reason for us to go through it again. The line that really hit home though was the last one, "Trust in his redeeming blood, and try his works to do." He did all of this for us. He created the earth, he made who we are, we are made after him we need to trust him and trust that he died for us and he took our pains upon him and then do his work. We need to "TRY" to follow his example and do what he has taught us. They used the word try I think because there is no way we can just all magically be perfect. We have to try and strive to do what he would want us to do and trust in the Lord.

This probably made no sense or very little sense but I don't have my journal here in Oregon with me so you get to read my thoughts...

I don't like country...

I heard this song and I immediately liked it...what has happened to me...?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UumRkksN-LE&feature=fvwrel

Hair Color

As many of you know I colored my hair for the first time a couple months ago. It was terrifying but I ended up loving it. Now the roots have grown out and I'm trying to decide what to go with next...

I understand most of these are of Jennifer Aniston...but seriously she's the most beautiful person ever and she has great hair.

Picture 1

Picture 2

Picture 3

Picture 4

This one I like the middle.

Picture 5

Ode to friends

The Twins and Liz

Rachel, Sarah and I were kinda thrown together... Basically her mom forced us to be friends. But it all turned out okay. We met before 6th grade in primary and we were best friends throughout Middle School and our days in the "diamond house." Then high school came and we grew apart because we went to different schools and we just liked different things. Then Sarah came here for school and we hung out quite often Freshman year. Then Sophomore year not so much. Now we're friends again and we try to hang out more than we used to because even though it's not as convenient to see each other it's always a fun special treat :-) And Rachel is only 4 hours away! It's nice that I have these girls as friends even after our 4 year lull... Which I take full blame for... I wasn't a very good person in high school and that's totally my fault...

JHack

Oh JHack...What is there to no love about Jessica? She's awesome. We met freshman year in 9th grade English. We weren't really close though until sophomore year. We had this super creeper student teacher that would hit on the 4 girls in that class. Oh what a creep...maybe he's the reason I don't like black people much... it is in my blood. haha. But JHack and I became really good friends and we had TONS of girl drama but we are still best friends and it's so nice that she's always just a text away. Love her!

Lauren and Mom

What isn't great about these two? They're like the dynamic duo! Mom is Wonder Woman and Lauren is Wonder Woman Jr... They're there to talk and listen to me complain about my life and they try to fix it. Even when I don't want them to fix it. Our trip to Miami was quite possibly the best trip of my life. We grew so much closer. Lauren me and Mom...good times together. It was so nice to be able to see the relaxed not so crazy side of mom... I really want to do that again... a relaxed mom is MUCH better than high strung crazy mom. Basically if you don't have a therapist that worked in Woman's Services as a sister your life is gonna suck! Lauren is so great she sees both sides AND she knows me so it's just awesome.

And finally....

My Daddy!

Have you ever met someone who has survived a car accident as bad as his? I doubt it. He is awesome and basically as super as my mom. Yes he has his faults and he can't run and play with us but he wishes he could and he will push himself to the limit to spend time with us. He tries to pretend he's fine just so he can do things with us (yeah he's bad at faking it) He calls me just to say I love you. He sends texts to say I love you (yeah my dad texts) He is such an amazing man. He tries everything he can to help our family and with all the things working against him I'd say that's quite amazing. He is the priesthood holder of our family and I am grateful I have had a worthy priesthood holder as my father. He gives great advice too and he's always there to talk to.

These people have always been there for me and I am so grateful they have been. I don't know where I'd be without them! I love them all and I just wanted them to know how much they really do mean to me. Even when I'm constantly complaining about my life, they are still there.

I love you guys!

Just Another Rant

So yesterday I was walking to my car from church in intense beautiful heels and I was super nervous because 1. I stopped wearing heels after my knee started hurting, 2. It was raining, 3. These were extra high heels, 4. I'm just always nervous in them. So I was nervous and I was about 10 feet from my car when I stepped on a pebble and that was the end of my standing. I fell on the ground. It was mighty painful but thankfully I didn't actually cut anything by my ankle (from the zipper on my shoe not the ground.) It wasn't any major falling, I went down quite gracefully actually but I still went down. Ten steps from my was a guy. Oh for the record I was on BYU campus where the guys are supposed to be "helpful, thrifty, brave" something like that. But he didn't' even ask if I was okay or come to help me. Awesome, also he works at the help desk at the mall, so no big deal I knew him. So I was fine, sore but fine. So I got home and I was thinking...was it just me that he wouldn't help or does he not help anyone? Is he just the guy that won't be the knight in shining armor? Either way he's rude. Not a fan of him anymore. Also my back hurts really bad and my wrists are popping excessively.

In other rants, apparently I'm a pansy because I hurt from that... but if you were to complain about anything it's okay. UGH!

Also in other news, I got into Utah State up in Logan...but do I want to go there? I hate life right now for the record.

OH also... apparently I have a two date limit, after 2 dates guys don't like me anymore...no big deal.

Random thoughts thrown into one.

So...every girl that isn't dating hates dating. They hate being alone, not having someone to constantly whine to, cuddle with...pretty much they just hate life. But I think what's worse than dating might be having a crush. Boys are really good at leading you on. ESPECIALLY Provo boys. I'm sure girls do it too and shame on them but seriously you can't hold a girls hand, kiss her, pretty much do anything she'll read into with out actually liking her. I hate being twitterpated. I hate waiting for my phone to ring and hoping it's that special guy. I hate constantly wanting to text him but being told from EVERYONE not too. I hate that I have to play the game or he'll get bored. I can't just be like "dude I like you." I have to flirt one time and be rude the next flirt again and act like he doesn't exist the next. Do you get how stupid the dating game is? Everyone hates rejection so that just makes us not want to like guys...Sometimes you get really good at it then that one guy comes along that is just a little different than all the others and intrigues you a little bit more. Yeah, then you have an issue. Then you decide to put yourself out there but you can't do it all. And that is what I hate about dating. I can't control where the relationship will go, how long we'll date, when things will happen anything I can't control that part of my life. It sucks for someone that likes to know what is going on, not okay with surprises...control freak... not to an extreme though...

That's all just wanted to rant about something stupid....but isn't that what I always use my blog for?

Music.

I love her voice and I've listened to this song at least 20 times over the past two days... I also love the dancing in the music video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM

Typical Utah Girl Complaints

So I'm super hesitant to write this because I know I'm going to get the typical advice and answers but sometimes I just want to write what I'm thinking out, I mean isn't that what a blog is for? So you may give your opinion on my situation, however if you say "the time will come" "it will happen" or any of the cliché things I may just ignore that and pretend you didn't say it...

Living in Utah I deal with friends getting married, engaged, pregnant all the time and being a girl I feel like I'm the only one that isn't. When I know very well that I am not. I have a roommate who isn't dating, or engaged and for sure not pregnant...well maybe not for sure...kidding. But sometimes I feel like it just gets to you. When all your friends are sending you pictures of their dresses, their rings, asking your advice, flaunting their engagement, counting the days. Of course I'm happy for them, I'm happy they're happy and they're getting their fairy tale ending but sometimes I just want an end to it all. I mean once people get engaged I delete them from my news feed so I can't see their ridiculous count down "89 days until I'm married." That is dumb (yes I bet I do it if/when I am engaged, but let me just complain for now.) You're getting married in 89 days, does anyone but you and your fiancée care? probably not... Maybe once it gets down to 5 or maybe even 30 I might care. I'm not saying I hate you if you do that I'm just saying I just don't really read your status or go to your page very often because I don't care to be reminded of my loneliness.

I'm already bitter about my situation and I'm only TWENTY. What happens if I don't get married for a few more years? Will I accept the fact that I'm not supposed to be married yet and that it's EVERYONE else's turn before mine? I don't think I can go through life without a companion. Thinking about people I know who have never been married and they're in the 50's just amazes me how they could live their lives without someone by their side. I could not do that. I really hope that is not one of the trials God wants me to have...

I'm tired of being alone and sitting around doing nothing on the weekend. I can only watch so many things on Netflix. I just want to go on a date and enjoy myself. I've been asked on two dates the whole time I've lived in Utah...TWO. Kinda sucks. Then I see the people that get asked on dates by guys they don't even want to go out with and the ones that get asked by the guys they do want to go out with and the girls that get asked out by every guy and I just feel like sometimes I want it to be my turn. I want to have a reason to actually get ready in the morning (because we all know I do not get ready for work any day of the week) I want to have something to look forward to on the weekend, not just not having to work. It'd just be nice sometime... But if it doesn't happen I guess I'll just learn to be content and live with the way life is.

Boy Crazy???

So usually I'm not boy crazy but occasionally I can be... and apparently right now is one of those times. Jamie and I spent the day together and we were just talking about things that would be so fun to do and then we decided they'd be way more fun to do with boyfriends... too bad neither of us have one... But that's just a goal...to one day get boyfriends...

"Things To Do With Our (Tentative) Boyfriends This Summer"

(Or alone if the whole boy thing doesn't work out for us....)

1. Snowbird Day- All Day Pass

2. Hike Bridal Veil Falls

3. Go to Dairy Keen

4. Hike Stuart Falls

5. Road Trip to California Coast

6. Go to Jamie's Cabin

7.Complete Kissing List (It's a list Jourdan and I made last year when I was boy crazy...about the same time...huh maybe it's just the winter)

8. Go Boating

9. Sing "Stargazing" Together (By Double or Nothing)

10. Go to Lagoon

11. Go to 7 Peaks

12. Squaw Peak (To look at the pretties not to kiss....maybe a little ha kidding) <--Give us a break we were driving through the canyon

13. Go Shooting

Kissing List

Remember this was made when I was tired...and it's just funny...not too serious...okay maybe a little.

1. Under Mistletoe

2. Elevator

3. Staircase

4. In the snow

5. In the rain

6. In a hot tub

7. Tire swing

8. Closet

9. Beach at night

10. Standing in the middle of the road

11. Sitting on the counter

12. Sitting on a desk

13. In a swivel chair

14. Love Sac

15. Sitting on the trunk of a car

16. Temple Square

17. In the fountain at Gateway

18. New Years Midnight

19. Under a waterfall

20. On a boat

21. Underwater

22. On a balcony

23. On a horse

24. Upside down

25. On a pool table

26. Under fireworks (harder for me since I'm afraid of them...)

2011 Goals

Everyone has their goals for 2011 and usually I don't tell people mine because then I actually have to do them, or they put pressure on me and then I won't do it. This year...I'm telling people... ah! I remember my mom used to get this thing out of the Friend and it had sections and we had to put what our goals are for the year... Here are a few of mine.

Spiritual Goals:
1. Go to church at least 3 times a month...and stay for more than one hour... I know it sounds super easy and whatever but since I've gotten my new calling my church attendance has gone way down. I don't like leading music so if I'm not there I'm not expected to and so it's not my problem to deal with. But I should go and I should learn to love my calling...I miss being in charge of activities it was way better than music.
2. Do all the things I'm supposed to, all those SMA's, read scriptures, pray morning and night, the things I do occasionally but have never made a habit of.
3. Prepare myself to go to the temple, SURPRISE this past year has been a debate and I haven't told many people but I've been trying to decide to go on a mission, my answer changes daily but I should at least be getting ready to and living so I can if I decide I do want to when July rolls around.
4. People used to say I had a special glow or light in my eyes, for some reason I didn't like that and wanted people to like other parts of me. Now I'm realizing those parts are not the parts I want people to focus on, I want them to think I have the special light and the kind heart...I judge too much, I need to stop.

Education:

1. Figure out what I actually want to do with my life!!

2. Keep getting A's.

3. Learn to do my homework a few days in advance...not just the night before.

4. Find a good school I want to go to.

Physical:

1. Play Wii Fit/Just Dance everyday.

2. Eat right.

3. Grow my hair out to donate it again.

4. Lose Weight (see number 1 and 2)