There's gotta be something good

Today was a BAD day.

The first text I got was a very rude text from one of my friends. It's been over a week since I've talked to Garret. I have a thousand emotions and nothing to do with them. Work is stressing me out because I feel like I have a lot of responsibility there and no one knows what they're doing. School is being stressful because well it's school and if it weren't stressful something would be wrong. My first big test is on Thursday for my Economics class and according to everyone that took that class his tests are freaking hard. AH!

So today after getting a reprimanding email from my dad (who had to right to reprimand me for this) I broke down at work...AGAIN. Yay for crying at work. That was before lunch. After lunch every once in a while I had to take a little breather and I went and stood in the bathroom for a few minutes just trying to calm myself down...

Worst part is.... It's only Monday.

Lets Play Guess My Mood!

Today the mom that was EXTREMELY nice and complimented me a ton of Saturday came in again. I just love her. Honestly I wish she had a son my age. But she joked about how he timed her son's sickness just right so she could come in and see me (she knows I don't work Tue/Thurs) and she wished me luck at school and everything. Aw I just love her. Haha she is always so positive and polite and happy. I wish I could be more like her honestly.

Saturday Night

Dates are rarely seen in my life and since SOPA and PIPA ruined my life (even though they didn't pass) I had nothing to watch and I didn't REALLY feel like reading Mockingjay I read old letters from my missionary friends.

Facts about letters:

They get shorter the longer they're gone

I wrote Garret as much as the others (and that was all in 6 weeks of him being in the MTC)

They make you laugh

They grow up while they're gone and you can tell

They find ways to entertain you as they write (pictures...hand drawn pictures... hahaha)

I experience a roller coaster of emotion as I was reading them but overall I am so so SO thankful that I have had so many friends serve missions righteously and that I was able to experience some things with them. I am thankful that we were able to stay close and friends throughout the two years they went MIA.

I visited Rexburg a couple times before Garret left and this is one of the times.

This fine gem is from like 2005 probably... haha oh Kurt and his floppy mane

Nick has hopefully forgotten about this incident... for some reason I was brought on the trip when he met his girlfriends parents....awkward BUT at least I got this picture...

And then there's Jeremy. What a cutie. haha

Today I'm Grateful For...

the mom's that come in that are nice to us

my coworkers that make me laugh

hockey games? hahaha IDK about that yet...on my way to one now...

today a mom told me that I am awesome...only she used a lot more words. she remembers me every time she comes in. I remember her too I think she is equally awesome and really funny. She has tried to get me to date one of her sons...but he is 17 haha but she's really great. she made my day.

Best Words Ever

It just made my day.

1. my dad (the biggest music critic) told me the song I arranged was very good (and I did it in 3 days)

2. I texted a friend and asked if it was weird that sometimes I just want to call him to talk to him and hear his voice because we didn't talk for two years and he said "no that's why I keep calling you."

So, it's good to be wanted and great to be told good job, especially by your parents.

Other things I take for granted.

Eating dinner with a good friend that I don't see often.

Getting my nails done with an old roommate to catch up.

Working with people that make me laugh constantly.

Having roommates I can tolerate.

Friends that make me want to be a better person.

Friends that watch my back (even though one of them tried to say I was drinking... ugh long story short... small town, big rumors.)

Having my parents a phone call away. I miss them but honestly hearing their voices make my life a billion times better.

Heh

Like everything I write this isn't going to be very well planned or thought out just my random thoughts thrown into one for you to decipher. Ready?

When Lauren was working at my favorite job she ever had (Women's Services on BYU campus http://wsr.byu.edu/) we went to a White Tie Ball. It was about relationship abuse and that opened my eyes to a lot of stuff. Things I let happen around me that I didn't realize were abuse but are. Aka NCMOs. For those of you not familiar with the term they are Non-Committal Make Outs. Aka friends with benefits, only no sex and actually occasionally they'd be like a one night stand kinda deal. Anyway moving on. After that I was more careful with the relationships I had where we stood if we were dating or just enjoying each other's company because I didn't want to be a part of an abusive relationship. (you guys probably think I was a horrible person but I'm not I haven't even kissed that many guys, I just have a guilty conscience easily...thanks for that Mom)

Okay so I try to have clear communication. I don't play games when I date. If I like a guy I tell them or I just bury the feelings and pretend we're just friends but I NEVER play games because that's just ridiculousness and dumb for everyone that is dealing with it.

Being someone's backup. Okay so this weekend I was a backup plan for someone. I never realized how sucky that feels. Granted most people don't KNOW they're the backup plan and you don't usually tell someone "well if this party is lame then I guess I'll come hang out with you." um excuse me? 1. why didn't you invite me to the party 2. no don't just assume you can come hang out with me and I'll be willing to hang out with you anytime you want. Yes I was fine with you showing up at my apartment in the morning right when I rolled out of bed but no, I will not be your backup plan.

Good news is this whole backup plan thing has encouraged me even more to keep working out (I am so sore I can barely make it up my stairs)

I also have a little piece of paper on my closet that says "you are not a backup plan" and "become someone's priority" yay for crap to turn into awesome.

Have a good week everyone!

Life Goes On

School is about to start on Tuesday and I am a little stressed about it. This will be my final semester at LDSBC finally and I will be graduating. Unfortunately I didn't plan my schedule as well as I should have an I will be taking 17 credits and going to school Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10-9:50. Ugh it is going to be so hard. Prayers are necessary this semester. I normally go to bed around 10 so having to stay up and DRIVE until 11 will be so hard. I wonder if I should have changed that. I guess I still can. I think I'll be able to do it. I'm really looking forward to my last semester though. It will be nice to not have to go up there anymore. Well depending on what I end up doing this fall actually. We'll see. If I'm not on here much this semester I'm going to blame homework in advance. :-)

Good news after writing this and freaking out I decided to check if they offered it earlier and they actually offer it online so I will now be going from 10-8:20. Not nearly as bad right?