Well my life is no picnic. As you know from my previous blog I am in quite the roller coaster marriage. As we battle with addiction daily we are also battling with each of our mental illnesses. If any of you have ever dealt with mental illness from a loved one you know it is difficult. Realizing you need new medications is probably one of the worst times along with transitioning to new ones.
Before I go too far into our relationship you should probably know what exactly we are dealing with .
Robert has a couple mental illnesses he takes medication for ADHD and depression. His mother is bi-polar and he is starting to show symptoms of bi-polar, not strictly depression. This is extremely hard on him because of the relationship he has had with bi-polar through his mother. He has had to deal with her highs and lows his whole life. Her lows aren't just laying in a bed in a comatose state. Her lows are terrifying. (I have have the pleasure of experiencing a couple during our marriage. Usually she just yells at Robert and Shawn but one time she told me she was going to kill Boston and that had basically ruined any chance at a relationship with her)
I take medication for depression and in my opinion it is pretty much managed. I know I do have some low days still but those are usually because of outside sources. BUT to get an honest opinion you'll have to talk to Robert.
Lately Robert and I have been at each other's throats almost daily. I'll go days without wanting to kiss him (but I do because I'm nice and I know I really do want to it's just my brain that doesn't) because I just don't want to even think about dealing with our problems or be in the same room. We will fight over something as stupid as not replacing the toilet paper. Every day I wonder when we get home if I'll have to deal with Robert exploding on Boston (our dog) or if he will just lay in bed and not get up or if he will be cleaning like a maniac. Those are Robert's basic moods. I'd like to think I'm pretty consistent but I know my moods are based off of what he does. If he is angry, I get angry. If he is sad, I just go do my own thing. If he is cleaning like a maniac, ....I don't know what I do in this situation.
Trying to figure out our groove is hard. Trying to figure out how we need to communicate in the various situations we get ourselves into is one of the harder things we go through. We will yell at each other then five minutes later just be fine and in love and cuddling.
Also I love this new song and the fact that it mentions bipolar.