UGH!!!

Well today was a good day but not it's not. I was thinking and realized that I may think people care about me more than they really do. They don't act like they do care like I think they do...Does that make sense. And I think I put a lot more into all my relationships then the others do. I don't just mean boyfriend/girlfriend. Like friendships too. It's just not fun.
I feel like I get talked down to a lot. And I don't need a freaking "challenge" to get me to do something. Your "challenge" makes me not want to do it. Ok you're not my mother deal with it! And just that I'm not as appreciated. I'm not homesick I think. I mean I was just there and it was really good but in the end I was excited to come back but now. I don't want to be here. But I know Bend isn't a good place for me to be either. I have Kimi and Jessica but that's about it. There isn't a good mormon crowd or anything. It'd just be me. And that doesn't sounds too good. Ugh sometimes I just hate life in Provo. I am ALWAYS the odd one out. And I miss important events and I feel used and unloved and I want to go somewhere where someone will love me. :-(

Backgrounds

So I've kinda started to make backgrounds for whatever mood I'm in or if I take lots of new pictures I'll change it or whatever but I just kinda felt like posting my most recent one. An

This is what I have now. The top and bottom pictures have letters on them that spell out family
This was when I was in a very not good mood. yes if you look closely i'm kissing someone big deal get over it. i'm not VL but we all knew that.
This one kept changing. This was after I went to Bend. Yeah yeah the kissing picture again. It was a big event I hadn't been kissed in MONTHS :-)
Then after I went to Idaho
Then after I took pictures with my roommates. I've had this one up for quite some time but I just changed it to the family one tonight.

A day off work

Well Christmas was really busy for me at work. I was working 35+ hours a week. Last week I worked one day. This week I was scheduled with two but I'm working three because Kennedy couldn't work Wednesday because she's Laurels president and needed to go to YW. So This week I have a total of 12 hours. I'm not looking forward to this paycheck. Well now I'll just give you an update.
Last time I wrote was like a month ago so I'll just play catch up.

We got a Christmas tree :-) It was so exciting because I hadn't had a real tree for so long because we couldn't fit one in our house on Forest Grove. So I convinced my roommates to buy one. We got one from Lowes, they had pretty good trees and it was only 30 bucks! So each of us paid 5 bucks for it and then I got the decorations and lights. Cassie helped me pick everything out because she's really picky about the tree. We were very nervous that Lynds wouldn't like it. Lyndsey is big into decorations and stuff so we had to make it so it would fit into our apt. So as much as I wanted a pink tree (pink bulbs not pink tree) we made it purple and silver. I think in the end it was very pretty. When it came time to take the tree down people claimed what they wanted off of it, Mels got the bulbs, Cass the lights and I got the stand. I think our tree was so pretty. I'm sad it's gone now. Our apartment looks a little dull without it. :-)

Mels and Cass decorating. They had to get every bulb and light just right. :-)

Our tree. Oh it was so beautiful.

On the 13th I think I went on a date with Jonathan Jardine. Yes another Bend missionary. It was a really really fun date. It was nice beause he didn't look at me like I was a stupid teenager like Matt does and it wasn't awkward at all. First of all Jonathan was driving all three couples in a little two door car. Can you say crowded? Well thankfully since Jonathan was my date I got to sit in front and not have everyone on top of me but sadly my seat was pushed way way way far up and I could pretty much touch the window with my forehead without trying. Well on this date we went to the duck pond by rape hill. Which is way funny because all day Lauren was saying that I shouldn't trust him or something and he was going to abduct me and it just made me laugh when we went to rape hill. So we fed the ducks there and some people in our group were trying to catch a duck while others wanted the ducks to bite them and I was good just throwing bread and staying clean and not getting bit by a duck...but for some reason even when I didn't have bread they were very attracted to me. Not cool. Thankfully I dont' have a fear of ducks or anything...So once we ran out of bread we decided to walk around. That was fun one of the couples just kinda took off from the rest of us and so four of us just talked together. Then the other couple started to walk around and so it was just Jonathan and I. It was funny because we talked about Bend and other areas in his mission but then we could also talk about normal stuff. That was nice. After we did that we went back to one of the guys apartments. At the apartment the guys taught us how to tie ties. That was fun. But I doubt I remember now. Then we played couple twister. We were attached to each other at the ankle and wrist. So right arm was me left arm him and whatever one came next was our middle limb. It was so intense. Then we just played twister and Jonathan totally cheated by pushing me over. Oh well. After twister we decided to get some pizza. So all six of us piled into the car again and we went to Little Casears and got some pizza. Once we got back to the apartment we face painted. This was really fun! Jonathan painted my face and I painted his. We would have done something stupid like gone to WalMart with it on but apparently it was burning some of the peoples faces. I must have mighty skin because it didn't bother me. However the day after I did have some new pimples. So we washed off our faces and it was only like 10. So we watched some YouTube videos like "Can I have your number" Which is freaking funny. Then we were like well it's only 10 we have to do something else. So we went to my apartment to watch a movie. One of the guys was like "lets watch a scary movie" and even after all my pleeding and saying I don't do well with scary movies we watched the Secret Window which could have been worse. So then it was time for them to go back to Riverton so we said goodbye.

One of the couples painting. You can see the other one too...
Their final product
Jonathan and me
Me

I think that's about it for the date. I'm kinda tired of typing so maybe I'll post more later since I'll still just be sittin around at home.