Thursday, January 15, 2015

My Two Husbands

No I'm not a polygamist. As I mentioned before Robert has bi-polar. Friday night we went on a date and I'll just tell you what it was like to go on a date with my two husbands.

I feel like most of the time I can control him but occasionally I can't. Especially if he is off his medications. Unfortunately for me he was off his medications most of the past week. This mean extra mood swings, higher highs and lower lows. Anything can set him off. It can be as small as a nudge to a weird look to who knows what.

Friday night Robert picked me up from work around 5 and we headed over the mall. Earlier in the day we had decided we wanted to see Taken 3 that night around 6. I also had to meet Carmen at the mall to give her something. On our way to the mall we had to stop by Chase to withdraw some money. On our way to Chase Robert's driving was terrifying. I thought we were going to get T-boned pulling across University Avenue into the bank. I was freaking out and told Robert that wasn't safe. His response was to drive erratically through the bank parking lot. (ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?) Of course I freaked out even more about that because we were in a bank parking lot. You should not be an idiot in the bank parking lot. So then he was pouting on our drive over to the mall. Once we got there I said "get out." He didn't want to go on our date anymore. He was upset and wanted to go home. I told him I had to bring something to Carmen so we had to go inside anyway. Once we got inside he said "I'm getting a boba tea." For whatever reason I decided I would let him. We got our smoothies and walked around and waited for Carmen to get there. (She was at the other mall...oops) Life was fine while we got those and waited around for Carmen. I let him take the lead on stores we went to because I could tell it would be a great night...(sarcasm) We were there for an hour before Carmen showed up so I decided we could get something small for dinner. I got a hot dog on a stick, he got cheese on a stick and we shared funnel cake fries. Eating everything was still great. Robert was still nice Robert. He kept asking to buy a drink and I repeatedly told him we already had our boba drinks so we didn't need more drinks but he could go ask for a cup of water. He said doing that was embarrassing so he didn't want to do that. Finally Carmen showed up and we talked for less than five minutes. Within those few minutes I said something to Carmen that set Robert off. We were talking about budgeting and Robert's debt and apparently he did not like that. When I grabbed his hand to walk with him to the movie he decided he didn't want to hold my hand. "I'm not a child I don't need you to walk me!" Once again I was on a date with bad Robert. We walked into the theater he kept complaining about being thirsty. I told him to ask for a water. We started in one line and I suggested moving to another because it wasn't moving. We moved and then our previous line started moving so Robert was not happy with me. We ordered his water and he asked for the biggest size. Guess what they charge you $5 for the big size! WHAT THE HECK?! So we got him a water. He was being really rude and trying to set me off. Unfortunately when he gets like this I just treat him like a patient, not a husband. I try to distance myself emotionally and just treat him like a child or something. He kept pushing and pushing and cussing and just saying rude things. I told him I would not go to the movie until he apologized. He refused so I told him I would go return my ticket and go home, he could see it himself. He freaked out and grabbed my arm and told me I had to go to the movie. He gave an insincere apology. I had to go to the bathroom still so I went to the bathroom with him still yelling at me to go to the movie. While I took my time in the bathroom I got a text saying something similar to "babe please come to the movie. I'm sorry. I don't like to see movies alone" I went into the theater and all of a sudden I was with good Robert again. He tried to cuddle me. But unfortunately I don't compartmentalize good/bad Robert. I hold grudges. When he switches and apologizes he doesn't realize what he has said, he doesn't realize what he had done to hurt me. After the movie he was still good Robert.

This is a night in my life with a bi-polar husband. You can imagine the amount of tears I go through.

No comments: