Wednesday, October 3, 2012

That's quite the bummer

So life goes on. That is what I've learned lately. It might suck then suck more but it will have little peaks of good even if they don't last forever and you have to try to make them happen. The past week and a half has been....rough. Brandon and I broke up. It has been a roller coaster of emotions. Overall I've been happy. Well I tell myself I'm happy but I think I'm actually hurting more than I let on. I don't know I can't read myself (is that bad) Well maybe it's just that some days I'm fine and others it's a little harder. I know that "someone better is out there for me,"  and "everything will be okay," and I know I "just need to keep my chin up." But at the same time I just want to fight what everyone is saying and tell them that I want Brandon  and everything isn't okay and that I just want to be able to wallow and really be sad. I told myself last Tuesday when I went to work that crying wouldn't make it better and I just needed to get through work. I didn't make it through work without crying but at least I only cried once. Then Tuesday night my home teachers gave me a blessing and that was so wonderful. I felt so much better after that and I can only imagine what kind of position I'd be in now if they hadn't given me that blessing. Since then I've been mostly on the uphill with little drops that I get over relatively quickly. I'm just sad because I was looking forward to doing cute fall/winter things with a boyfriend...and getting married to him. But I guess it's like everyone said. He's just not the one for me.

 Better luck next time. 

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