Homesick again.

I don't understand why I still get so homesick. I really miss my family a lot. Almost most of the time. I don't even know why. I've lived here for 9 months. I thought I would be happy if I moved out and got on with my life but apparently I was wrong because all I've wanted to do is move back home. I'm so glad my parents are coming this weekend. I just wish I could go back with them and stay there.

A Wonderful Weekend

My weekend started Friday when Sarah and I decided to go on an adventure to Salt Lake City! It was so exciting. We got our necessities ready (A HUGE bag of Hubba Bubba Gum and a half pound of fudge) and went on our way. Forty five minutes later the directions sent us on our first wrong turn. We were aiming for the capitol building but instead we were sent to an unknown destination. We could see the capitol and knew we were not going the right way. Once I convinced Sarah to let me turn around we went back the right direction to the capitol. For those of you that don't know the layout of Salt Lake there are many many steep hills. The Capitol happens to sit at the top of one. After a few turns and many big hills we found ourselves on a hill that was even steeper than the ones before. Oh boy as soon as I turned onto it I was praying we'd get up it. I feel bad for the people that live up there when it's icy. It may have been the most intense hill ever. Not one Rachel would want to go biking down with no hands :-) Once we got to the capitol we walked around the outside until we finally found the tour desk. We then went on a tour where we got to see the house the senate the supreme court and the governors ceremonial office. It was pretty awesome. Also once our tour was already started a group of Wolves joined us...it was......cool? stinky... We finished up at the capitol around 4 and then proceeded to our next stop.

The Ceramonial Office

Wolves

Sarah the Statue

Beginning our Journey

Our next stop was the Lion House for lunch. Sarah enjoyed some BBQ Pork while I ate some Chicken and Asparagus. I think both were good. Maybe a little over priced but still good. After the Lion House we got to go on a tour in the Beehive House. I've done this tour before but It was crazy this time because there were only four people so I actually could hear and see everything. Some of the rooms were super cool and I really like the house. Did you know that once it was used as womens housing for LDSBC? I bet you didn't. :-) After that we decided to go to Gateway to look at dressed for Eliza's wedding. We never found anything that was just the right color... Plus I wasn't really in the mood to dress up. So we just looked and left. It was 6ish by then and I had told my friend I'd be back by seven so we decided we should go back. Once we were back in Provo we remembered that I needed a mask for Saturday so we went to JoAnn's to get a mask and some supplies to make it pretty. I'm glad I have Sarah because she is WAY more talented than me. After we got the supplies I took her home and hung out with my friend Nathan and watched the DaVinci Code. I took him home around eleven thirty and then got to spend some time with Cassie. I needed NyQuill and she was hungry so about 1 AM we decided to take off and go get some food and NyQuill. Our first attempt at Alberson's was a bust so we went to Macey's and got some medicine for me. Sadly the medicine did NOTHING. But on the bright side I wasn't hungry anymore.

Saturday was fun. I went to pick up Sarah around eleven and then she came over here until 6. She spent many hours on my mask and I am so grateful that she did. It was a beautiful mask and I'm so glad she made it for me :-) THANKS SARAH! Saturday I enjoyed two big events. I went to Date Date Revolution where I went on five dates. My first date was ______ he's new in our ward and didn't get the memo about formal so he was in jeans but it was ok. :-) He is from St. George and actually knows Elder Finlinson. He's studying Mechanical Engineering I think...I know it's something engineering. So he picked me up from my apartment and we drove with Casey, Brendan's friend from work, to the Stake Center. My second date was actually Casey. I got enjoy salad with Casey. We talked about work and school. He's a history major (or something that has to do with history) and he works with Brendan. He said he feels a little weird working at I-Tok because before working there he wasn't too much of a computer geek and he isn't majoring in computers like everyone else. Casey was playing with his fork and twirling it and he ended up throwing a piece of lettuce at my dress. No stains though! :-) My third date was another new guy named Steven. He is living with his dad and brother here in Orem. He's going to BYU and doesn't know what to major in yet. He works at his dad's business where he packages lab needs. Like viles and stuff like that. Steven and I got to eat cold Fettachini Alfredo and Breadsticks. It was good but cold. My fourth date was a guy named Laif. Yes Laif (Layf) really that's how you say it. No idea where that name came from. Laif is from Cedar Ut and is going to BYU. He is living in Raintree and is a roommate with Neil who used to spend a lot of time in our apt. He is a welder I guess. We ate dessert together. Banana splits. mmmm so good. My fifth date was Neil. We enjoyed a dance together and then talked and he drove me home walked me to my door and that was all. It was fun. Overall I think it was a great activity and I think now I actually have some hope that one day I might get a real date. This was not the end of my weekend though. I still had BIG plans for my night.

This is Neil. I didn't bring my camera so this is the only picture I have. I wore my bridesmaid dress from Sandra's wedding and new silver heels. They're like five inches tall... And I'm still shorter than him... I never realized he was that tall.

My final adventure of the night was going to Sp^rk for a Masquerade. Oh boy it was so fun. We got free drinks and food and we just danced it up. Cassie and were dancing and this guy came up to us and said "YOU LOOK LIKE FUN" and started dancing with us too. I miss dances. I'm glad we got to go. I hope they have more parties like that.

So that was my weekend. Not much has happened today. I went to church sang in the choir even though I barely have a voice and then came home. While I was home I overheard my roommates talking about moving out. No one's talked to me about it yet though. Oh well I guess I'm not wanted. Oh well I'll manage with new roommates I guess. Exciting weekend huh? I know you wish you were me

SP^RK

Tonight was so exciting Cassie invited me to go with her sister to Spark. A new restaurant and lounge in Provo. They have way good (and really expensive) food along with non-alcoholic drinks. I enjoyed an Apple Martini which resembled cold apple cider. I also got journey’s caribbean crème | piña colada-like cream soda. Then at the end of the night I got a Strawberry Lemonade. It was very very very good.

Cassie and I drinking our yummy drinks

Journey Caribbean Creme

Steak mmm

Sweet Light

Even sweeter wall paper

Lookin goooooood ;-)

Cassie can be flyyyyyy

The cherry wasn't really black but the camera thought so

Apple Martini

Hmmm

So today I pretty much realized that I'm not going to go on a date for the next two years. Because all these RM's don't date girls that are 18. They don't date girls that are 19. They start dating them again once they turn 20. So pretty much I realized I am going to just spend my weekends alone in my apartment. Yay me! It really sucks. I just wish I had some friends to spend my time with. Like I have people at work. But I hang out with them at work. And I don't want to force myself on people. I don't even care if the people I hang out with are male or female as long as i get some friends. Because I'm kinda tired of being alone. And I don't think living here is worth it if i'm going to spend every night alone or with Lauren, no offence but I should have more friends then you...I mean you're required to be my friend. Yeah... Bottom line... I still have no friends after living here for 9 months.

UGH!!!

Well today was a good day but not it's not. I was thinking and realized that I may think people care about me more than they really do. They don't act like they do care like I think they do...Does that make sense. And I think I put a lot more into all my relationships then the others do. I don't just mean boyfriend/girlfriend. Like friendships too. It's just not fun.
I feel like I get talked down to a lot. And I don't need a freaking "challenge" to get me to do something. Your "challenge" makes me not want to do it. Ok you're not my mother deal with it! And just that I'm not as appreciated. I'm not homesick I think. I mean I was just there and it was really good but in the end I was excited to come back but now. I don't want to be here. But I know Bend isn't a good place for me to be either. I have Kimi and Jessica but that's about it. There isn't a good mormon crowd or anything. It'd just be me. And that doesn't sounds too good. Ugh sometimes I just hate life in Provo. I am ALWAYS the odd one out. And I miss important events and I feel used and unloved and I want to go somewhere where someone will love me. :-(

Backgrounds

So I've kinda started to make backgrounds for whatever mood I'm in or if I take lots of new pictures I'll change it or whatever but I just kinda felt like posting my most recent one. An

This is what I have now. The top and bottom pictures have letters on them that spell out family
This was when I was in a very not good mood. yes if you look closely i'm kissing someone big deal get over it. i'm not VL but we all knew that.
This one kept changing. This was after I went to Bend. Yeah yeah the kissing picture again. It was a big event I hadn't been kissed in MONTHS :-)
Then after I went to Idaho
Then after I took pictures with my roommates. I've had this one up for quite some time but I just changed it to the family one tonight.

A day off work

Well Christmas was really busy for me at work. I was working 35+ hours a week. Last week I worked one day. This week I was scheduled with two but I'm working three because Kennedy couldn't work Wednesday because she's Laurels president and needed to go to YW. So This week I have a total of 12 hours. I'm not looking forward to this paycheck. Well now I'll just give you an update.
Last time I wrote was like a month ago so I'll just play catch up.

We got a Christmas tree :-) It was so exciting because I hadn't had a real tree for so long because we couldn't fit one in our house on Forest Grove. So I convinced my roommates to buy one. We got one from Lowes, they had pretty good trees and it was only 30 bucks! So each of us paid 5 bucks for it and then I got the decorations and lights. Cassie helped me pick everything out because she's really picky about the tree. We were very nervous that Lynds wouldn't like it. Lyndsey is big into decorations and stuff so we had to make it so it would fit into our apt. So as much as I wanted a pink tree (pink bulbs not pink tree) we made it purple and silver. I think in the end it was very pretty. When it came time to take the tree down people claimed what they wanted off of it, Mels got the bulbs, Cass the lights and I got the stand. I think our tree was so pretty. I'm sad it's gone now. Our apartment looks a little dull without it. :-)

Mels and Cass decorating. They had to get every bulb and light just right. :-)

Our tree. Oh it was so beautiful.

On the 13th I think I went on a date with Jonathan Jardine. Yes another Bend missionary. It was a really really fun date. It was nice beause he didn't look at me like I was a stupid teenager like Matt does and it wasn't awkward at all. First of all Jonathan was driving all three couples in a little two door car. Can you say crowded? Well thankfully since Jonathan was my date I got to sit in front and not have everyone on top of me but sadly my seat was pushed way way way far up and I could pretty much touch the window with my forehead without trying. Well on this date we went to the duck pond by rape hill. Which is way funny because all day Lauren was saying that I shouldn't trust him or something and he was going to abduct me and it just made me laugh when we went to rape hill. So we fed the ducks there and some people in our group were trying to catch a duck while others wanted the ducks to bite them and I was good just throwing bread and staying clean and not getting bit by a duck...but for some reason even when I didn't have bread they were very attracted to me. Not cool. Thankfully I dont' have a fear of ducks or anything...So once we ran out of bread we decided to walk around. That was fun one of the couples just kinda took off from the rest of us and so four of us just talked together. Then the other couple started to walk around and so it was just Jonathan and I. It was funny because we talked about Bend and other areas in his mission but then we could also talk about normal stuff. That was nice. After we did that we went back to one of the guys apartments. At the apartment the guys taught us how to tie ties. That was fun. But I doubt I remember now. Then we played couple twister. We were attached to each other at the ankle and wrist. So right arm was me left arm him and whatever one came next was our middle limb. It was so intense. Then we just played twister and Jonathan totally cheated by pushing me over. Oh well. After twister we decided to get some pizza. So all six of us piled into the car again and we went to Little Casears and got some pizza. Once we got back to the apartment we face painted. This was really fun! Jonathan painted my face and I painted his. We would have done something stupid like gone to WalMart with it on but apparently it was burning some of the peoples faces. I must have mighty skin because it didn't bother me. However the day after I did have some new pimples. So we washed off our faces and it was only like 10. So we watched some YouTube videos like "Can I have your number" Which is freaking funny. Then we were like well it's only 10 we have to do something else. So we went to my apartment to watch a movie. One of the guys was like "lets watch a scary movie" and even after all my pleeding and saying I don't do well with scary movies we watched the Secret Window which could have been worse. So then it was time for them to go back to Riverton so we said goodbye.

One of the couples painting. You can see the other one too...
Their final product
Jonathan and me
Me

I think that's about it for the date. I'm kinda tired of typing so maybe I'll post more later since I'll still just be sittin around at home.