What have I done?!

Oh my gosh. Holy crap guess what stupid thing I did!

I SIGNED UP FOR A HALF MARATHON!!!!!

Yeah I might be slightly freaking out. I started training last week for it. I did my first run and went 4 miles jogging/walking. Then I went running on my own on Saturday in the FREEZING weather and I only went 1.5 miles. Then Tuesday I went running with one of my friends I'm doing the run with and I ran/walked a mile. Then yesterday I went on my own (yay me!) and I RAN A MILE AN A HALF ON MY OWN! I  felt so accomplished. The best part is now I have a reason to work out. I haven't really worked out since I started losing weight because I'm lazy and I'd rather watch Hulu than work out but I have forced myself to go a few times and I kinda like running now. Mostly because I know I can do it now. I have been talking to my coworkers that are doing the half with me and we encourage each other and it's just freaking amazing. It's going to be March 16 and I'm doing it with Jamie, Mindy (Jamie's mom), Lexie, Haeli and Martha and oh my gosh I'm so excited. We are going to rock it! Any encouragement or wise words you have to offer are greatly appreciated. 

It's Kind of a Funny Story

So yesterday I was sewing Martha's halloween costume... and I was just hemming it. Nothing major. So I'm sewing her costume and I feel a little poke and I'm like oh that hurt. THEN my machine made that awful sound they do when they go through fabric that's too thick and I was like SERIOUSLY?! Then I looked at my finger and noticed the needle didn't go through thick fabric. It went through thick skin! So I go into my bathroom kinda wiggling the needle sticking out of my skin...because it broke off in my finger and I'm looking at my phone going...who do I call Ui (my boss) or Mindy (my other boss) So I call Mindy and Jamie answers (Jamie as in old roommate, Mindy's daughter, bff) so I tell Jamie what happened and ask her if I should come in and have a doc look at it because it was only 6 so there were still doctors at our office. So Jamie comes to pick me up and I start freaking out a little bit. So I'm a dummy and call White Brandon to come pick me up. Yes, I call the boy that broke up with me a month ago. I knew he was home and being EQP he couldn't turn down a service opportunity. So he drives me to my office as I'm trying not to freak out too much because he doesn't do well with blood or needles and I had both in me and coming out of me...gag So I go into the office and EVERYONE is there laughing at me. Dr. Adams looks at it and says, well lets go pull it out. So we walk by 2 receptionists 3 nurses and Dr Lauret. EVERYONE is laughing at me... and on the bright side I was laughing too... Well I was laugh crying...it's really ugly. So Dr Farnsworth comes in because I'm making a lot of noise with my laugh cry and everyone else is laughing so he wants to check it out. I'm standing in our exam room with my finger not really bleeding and a needle sticking out hugging Jamie (pinching her back...she said my nails were digging into her..oops) Then Crystal (Brett's nurse) came in to hold me from behind just in case I passed out. I'm burrying my head in Jamie's armpit and laugh crying and Dr Adams starts to numb my finger (so painful) then Dr. Lauret pulls the needle out and they just laugh at me. When it's all done I get out of Jamie's shirt and noticed I snotted all over it. I'm such a great friend :-) Oh during the whole being numbed process I said "OH I just want to scream profanities!" It hurt way way bad. So I soak my finger to get all the "bugs" out and Mindy bandages me up. I get my tetanus shot and Jamie brings me home. Such an eventful Monday... Didn't finish Martha's costume either.... shoot.

In the end it took 2 M.D, 1 D.O, 1 P.A and 5 nurses OH and Jamie (couldn't have done it without her!) to help me through my little ordeal...

Moral of the story: watch your fingers when sewing kids! 

Dress Up!

Tonight to entertain myself I played dress up. I tried on all my formals, expect for my Belle one because that one weighs too much and thought of putting it on made me tired haha. So I tried on all my other formals then I found pictures from when I wore them. It is crazy that they ALL fit better now than they did back in the day. I am inspired by myself. Maybe I can be an inspiration to someone else.

This is Prom 2007, Can we just talk about how TIGHT it was on my boobs... also sorry it's sideways...

July 2009

April 2008

November 2008

August 2009

April 2008

Let me just tell you about this dress. The woman that made it was evil and didn't really make it correctly. So the boning came out and made everyone bleed... so she "fixed it" by putting duct tape over it...yup tape... Oh goodness. PS Look at my Jazz choir letter pin STILL on it 4 years later hahaha

I have no comparison for this picture but can we just talk about how BEAUTIFUL I am. For REALS

My Excitement

Alright so I've been losing weight pretty steadily since February...and by steadily I mean I plateaued when I was dating Brandon because I was eating more calories than I should have been. So really I've been losing weight from February to May then August to October. I started at a really high weight... my peak weight was 240 (oh gosh did I just admit that?!) Even at my highest weight people didn't believe me when I would tell them my weight because I "carried it well." But I've been steadily losing weight and have hit 30 pounds lost! Which is so awesome! I feel awesome. Sad news is I have 50 more pounds to get to my "normal" BMI. When I tell people that they look at me like that isn't even possible but apparently it is.

Yesterday when I hit the 30 pound mark I was thinking "I don't think I've weighed this little since high school." So I did some research and called my doctor from my senior year and asked them my weights and this is what I found.

Feb 2008-209 (What I'm at now!)

April 2008-216

June 2008- 200 (Random spike down...)

June 2009- 226 (hello college depression weight)

Nov 2011-238

I think I weighed 240 pretty steadily throughout 2011 and into 2012. Crazy that I let myself weigh that much. I know in 2010...? I did HCG and I lost a little bit of weight but then it shot back up because I couldn't starve myself. 

I just called my pediatrician from 2001-2008 and asked them my weights but those are in my paper chart so they're going to call me back later. I just want to know when I started in the 200s because I honestly don't remember.Okay they just called and the verdict is moving to Oregon made me fat...

Jan 2002-157 (five months after moving to Bend)

Oct 2002-172.5 (beginning of 7th grade and Dad madness)

May 2006-184 (friends with cars=going out to lunch)

May 2007-202 (I started dating Vince September 2006 and gained 18 pounds... I blame him)

Alright is is me at 240...

This was between 15 pounds lost

15 pounds down. My face already looks thinner right?

23 Pounds down hiking a mountain in Wyoming

28 pounds down

28 Pounds!

I'll have to take a picture tonight!  

I've been in the 200's my adult life. I feel SO awesome for finally getting it in control. As far as health issues I don't think any of them have gotten significantly better since losing the weight but I have a long way to go still. I am so proud of myself. It's been a long time coming and it makes me so happy to realize it's a realistic goal for me. Thank you to my family and friends that have encouraged me. Especially JAMIE for being my competition (even though she didn't really know it)  

This is a picture I just found on my Myspace (say what?!) and it's when I weighed 184

Sometimes I doubt...

So the past month of my life has been quite the roller coaster. I have a lot of days of good then moments of bad but overall I've been really good for someone that was just broken up with haha. But tonight we had FHE at our stake president's house and it was really good. We got to know each other a little better and then he shared a spiritual thought.
He shared a video with a story taken from a talk from Elder D. Todd Christofferson (who was at my graduation so I feel like he's extra cool now...) The video is called The Will of God



While watching this I was thinking about how sometimes I do get mad at the Lord and I reprimand him and I say "I was doing so good why did you have to change my plans. I had a whole future set and now I have to start over." President Mackey talked about how sometimes when we pray we don't ask the right questions or we don't accept the right answer because it's not what we want to hear. Immediately I thought about the latest turmoil in my life 1. because he was sitting right across from me and 2. because his reason was "I prayed about it and I feel like I'm not the right guy for you." So I have recently had my little tiff with prayer and felt like sometimes it sucks because it can RUIN lives.

Yes I know I'm a girl I exaggerate sometimes.. I know that prayer is actually a very good thing to keep in your life but anyway back to the story. 

We were talking about Christ and how his plan is better than ours and he knows what he wants us to be and we may think we know but we really don't. We talked about keeping the Lords plan in our prayers and making sure that what we are doing is on the right path. I was thinking about how in my mind I was going to marry Brandon and in my mind that was the best thing for me. It was my great and awesome purpose (wanting to be a fruit tree...if you don't understand watch the video) But Christ has his own plan for me and I am supposed to be a bush and that is good enough.

 I don't really know if this makes sense but you know sometimes you just have those moments when you really get it. You are finally at peace with your life and I think that happened for me tonight. 

That's quite the bummer

So life goes on. That is what I've learned lately. It might suck then suck more but it will have little peaks of good even if they don't last forever and you have to try to make them happen. The past week and a half has been....rough. Brandon and I broke up. It has been a roller coaster of emotions. Overall I've been happy. Well I tell myself I'm happy but I think I'm actually hurting more than I let on. I don't know I can't read myself (is that bad) Well maybe it's just that some days I'm fine and others it's a little harder. I know that "someone better is out there for me,"  and "everything will be okay," and I know I "just need to keep my chin up." But at the same time I just want to fight what everyone is saying and tell them that I want Brandon  and everything isn't okay and that I just want to be able to wallow and really be sad. I told myself last Tuesday when I went to work that crying wouldn't make it better and I just needed to get through work. I didn't make it through work without crying but at least I only cried once. Then Tuesday night my home teachers gave me a blessing and that was so wonderful. I felt so much better after that and I can only imagine what kind of position I'd be in now if they hadn't given me that blessing. Since then I've been mostly on the uphill with little drops that I get over relatively quickly. I'm just sad because I was looking forward to doing cute fall/winter things with a boyfriend...and getting married to him. But I guess it's like everyone said. He's just not the one for me.

 Better luck next time. 

Have You Laughed Today?

Now you have. 

Long time...

SO a lot has happened since the last time I blogged... it was in July...It's been two months. shoot. Well I have a lot to catch up on.

July was my birthday and Brandon and I celebrated by going to get sushi YUM then we just relaxed and watched a movie together. My roommate Jenny decorated our house too it was really sweet. Oh Brandon also got me flowers. I got a REALLY cool present from my parents. (just kidding I'm paying them back...) but on my birthday we bought two plane tickets to go to Bend. Um my old roommate Britni left on her mission :-( Sad day! I miss her a lot already she was so fun to have around the apartment but don't worry I'm still writing her! (random fact saw her best friend in the temple a couple weeks ago when I went to do baptisms) But even though she's gone I still have one amazing roommate and we do TONS together. In July we hung out with the "sexy six" or "fab five" however many of us were there at the moment. We went to Trafalga and Llama fest. Llamas are disgusting creatures... OH also exciting one of my best friends Kennedy came home from college and we have lived it up since she's been home. The first weekend she was home we went to this REALLY cool thing at the Riverwoods it was called Taste of the Valley. They had like 20 restaurants from Provo/Orem and they had small samples of their food. It was like 10 bucks but so worth it. We were STUFFED by the end of it and got tons of coupons! I also went on a REALLY REALLY REALLY fun group date with Jamie and her friend Mason. We went to Color Me Mine and I made an awesome plate! And to bring my month to a close Rob came home! (rob is one of my friends from the BC we are basically bffs forever) But he finally came home from California and we celebrated my birthday the last day of the month. It was wonderful we got appetizers from Cheesecake Factory and TWO slices of cheesecake (horrible idea don't do it) then we went to a museum and the international peace gardens. Rob is awesome. He is basically the best for birthdays.

Overall a great month! Now the debate...do I write about August...

These are two of the flowers Brandon got me. LOVED them

Jenny and I at Trafalga

Creepy Freaking Creatures

Fab Five at Llama Fest

At Color me Mine. Can we just talk about how handsome Brandon is love him

 

Rob and me at the Gardens

Kennedy and I at Taste of the Valley

I just fell in love...

So I don't know if it's just me but when I hear songs sometimes I just instantly fall in love. Especially if they make me think of other things I already love...

And here's one of those songs 

Look at him. Isn't he SO handsome. I love him. 

Weekend Getaway

July 4th Brandon and I headed up to Wyoming for his family reunion. We left Provo after eating a red white and blue breakfast with some friends and watching the parade. The drive is only 4 hours to Afton (where they're getting the new temple) It was a nice drive compared to the 11 hour drive I just did a month ago to Bend. It was fun to be able to just talk to Brandon and enjoy time with each other. We got to his Aunt and Uncle's (Steven and GayLynn) just in time for dinner. We enjoyed time with his parents talking and watching Star Trek.

Thursday I woke up 3 hours before everyone (stupid body) and I just sat on the porch and enjoyed the nothignness around me. There's something peaceful about being in the country. It was beautiful there just hills and valleys and lots and lots of green. I called my mom and talked to her for an hour then just read until everyone woke up. After everyone got up and got ready for the day we took a grand tour of Afton, Wyoming. It is a really really small town. There are only 1818 people there according to the sign. But it was really cute. I think little towns are actually quite charming we went into a few shops and all the people working were so sweet and kind. Afton was settled by Mormons so there is a pretty high LDS population there. We drove to places his dad lived and he told us memories about when he grew up and that kinda fun stuff. Later that day we went to go see Brave but the showing was in 3D so we waited until later that night go to see it. I loved it I thought it was way funny and way cute but I'm pretty easy to please haha. Thursday night around midnight his sister and her fiance came into town. We talked with them for a while (until 2 am) planned Friday and went to bed.

 Friday we went to Yellowstone. I was pretty excited because I had never been there. We went with Kellie and Stephen and drove the 3 hours to get there then drove around and went and saw Old Faithful. It was pretty awesome. I also got eaten alive by mosquitoes DURING THE DAY evil creatures Friday night when we got back we enjoyed another nice home cooked meal. (I ate a lot on this vacation...with a lot of cream and carbs but magically lost a pound yay) We lazied around and talked and enjoyed each other. 

Saturday his family went to Jackson but we were planning on leaving so didn't want to go north just to have to go south a little later so we watched Phantom of the Opera and tennis. When that was done we went and picked up some things from town got gas and went on our way. We timed it almost perfectly getting back into town because we had to pick up my roommate Jenny from the Salt Lake Airport. We really got here an hour earlier than needed but took that time to go grocery shopping for Sunday dinner so it was great. We got Jenny came back to Provo and enjoyed some pizza on the living room floor with Jenny and just talked and laughed A LOT. I don't know if it's because I was around his family all weekend and had to be on my best behavior but I feel like Brandon saw a whole new side to me Saturday night... the extremely loud obnoxious tired funny goofy side of me... 

I loved getting to know his parents better. I've met them before but only for a couple hours. They are wonderful people and his family was all really nice. I think they may have liked me too. (I hope)

Grand Tetons

Cute little waterfall

I think this is beautiful, it kinda looks like Tumalo Creek

Brandon enjoying the sun 

Old Faithful

It was fun to get out of Provo and enjoy a little downtime but it's always hard getting back into the swing of things. 

Sketchy!!

Today I was meeting with my adviser at the U for fall semester. I also had new student orientation and that campus is HUGE I'm seriously hating my idea to go there right now... It's a big jump from my one building 10 story college... bleh. BUT anyway I was in the Behavioral Science building with Dahlia and Clay and we decided to take the elevator to the 5th floor... We kinda realized it was sketchy when the elevator doors opened and the elevator was still moving when we got on. BUT we rode it anyway. Halfway up the elevator stops and DROPS. Only a little bit but it was terrifying. Dahlia and I rang the bell and then we realized they had an emergency phone in it so we called the campus police and of course as soon as we did that the elevator started moving again. OH my gosh it was so scary. I am never riding on an elevator in that building again. But here is what you should do if you are stuck in en elevator and here is what you should do if it is falling (basically you die)

VEGAS!

So this past weekend I went down to Vegas with Brandon.
We left Friday morning and stopped in St. George at the temple and did baptisms. Then we ate lunch, visited my friend Ariel and made the rest of the journey to Vegas. It was a beautiful drive with no traffic and it was great just to be able to sit with him and talk to him for a six hour drive. We made our way to the Layton's house where we were staying. After we figured out where they lived and got changed we made our way over to the Las Vegas temple just to make sure we could find it (even though we had a GPS....hmmm) After that we drove down to the strip and parked at the Venetian. That hotel is probably my favorite. But we walked through it and made our way to the strip to see the night shows. We went to Treasure Island BUT they canceled the show because of the wind. Then we went to Caesars Palace and walked around the BEAUTIFUL mall with the stone floors, fountains, circle escalators oh my gosh everything there is AMAZING. After that we walked to the Bellagio and watched the fountain show. (we walked behind two guys smoking pot and Brandon didn't notice and I tried to get him to stop and look at stuff but he wanted to keep walking and I was terrified because I know those guys know that I saw it and I was thinking, "I'm going to get killed on the Vegas strip because I *caught* someone smoking pot...shoot") It was beautiful. The song when we were walking up was "Your Song." Which immediately reminded me of dad and I was like well that's not so romantic. Then we stayed for the next show which was "My Heart Will Go On" Also not a super romantic song (HE DIES!) so we watched the show and then we went and got dinner at Chipotle YUM and walked back to the car. As we were walked back we noticed everyone lining up so we checked and the volcano show was about to happen so we found a perfect spot to stand where we could see everything but we were away from the crowd. After that we went back to the Layton's and watched a movie with them and went to bed. They were really such a lovely family to stay with they were so kind to us and so gracious for letting us stay there.
Saturday morning we went to the Las Vegas temple to do baptisms. It was a weird experience because there were only 3 temple workers so that was WEIRD but they put Brandon to work and that was cool. After the temple we went back and changed. We went down to the strip and went to a hotel with a MASSIVE aquarium where they have mermaids AND they feed the fish so that was cool to see. We were too early for the mermaids but it was still cool to watch them feed the sting rays. After that we went to the MGM and tried to see the lions but they were gone :-( And they were doing UFC at the MGM this weekend so it was CRAZY packed. We then walked to Excalibur and Luxor and walked around. The hotels in Vegas are really out of this world. I've been there before but this time it was better for some reason and I loved it. After that we went back to the MGM to move my car to the Venetian for the show. We went to the Venetian and walked around the mall and sat and relaxed for a while until we met up with Brooklyn (one of the Layton's nieces) THEN we went into Phantom and it was AMAZING. It really was I encourage everyone to see it. After Phantom we went to dinner at Olive Garden and then we went back to the Layton's and went to bed.
Sunday morning we woke up and went to a 9am ward then hit the road. We made it back on ONE tank of gas and in 4.5 hours... How Nathan did it I have no idea... BUT we are alive and it was a wonderful weekend. :-)

St George Temple

Treasure Island

Caesars Palace

Volcano Show

Las Vegas Temple

I love palm trees and these were so cute! 

Creepiest man ever

It was so AMAZING